Hooked On Screens - How Cell Phones Shape Our Lives

I vividly recall when I became a teenager and began regularly using the phone to speak to friends and receive calls.  This was long before the cell phone was invented.  There were some definite pros and a few cons. 

          The big pro was the freedom I found in speaking to my friends and making plans with them outside of school.  The sense of connection we felt was very real.  I remember that even though I would spend all day with them in middle and high school, we would always call each other after school to recap the day.  It was part of our routine and how we stayed updated on everything.  

          A con associated with this was that I only had landlines to use.  There were no cell phones to take to a secluded place and talk privately.  I had to find a time to talk when I knew my parents were busy and would not walk in.  I didn’t have a phone in my room.  We had a phone in the kitchen and one in my parents’ bedroom, so finding privacy was difficult. 

          I am unsure if this was a pro or con, but calling my friends on their landlines meant that their parents would often pick up, and we would engage in small talk.  Sometimes, I didn’t mind; other times, I just wanted to move on to my friend.  It was a chance to get to know the adults in my friend’s life.

   I remember a particular friend would call my phone, and when my father answered, they would immediately start talking about sports for a long time.  They both enjoyed it.  When they see each other in person, they start right where they left off.  Those conversations were their personal, unique experience they enjoyed sharing, which came to be due to them speaking occasionally on the phone. 

          Of course, being tied to using a landline meant we could only talk when we were home and would have to share the phone with other family members.  While this was annoying at the time, looking back, I realize it was nothing more than a minor inconvenience.  Since we had to share our phone usage, so our time spent on the phone was limited. 

          Over time, our relationship with phones has dramatically changed for the better and the worse. 

          A Right Of Passage

          In my years as a psychologist working with families, I have observed that many parents consider purchasing a cell phone for their children around the time they enter middle school.  The main reason is that with more activities after school, their child may need to be picked up some days, and giving their child a cell phone is an easy way to coordinate between parent and child.

           However, the middle school age is not written in stone.  For instance, nearly 25% of five to seven-year-olds in the United Kingdom have a cell phone.  Despite the requirement that a person must be age thirteen to use the messaging service WhatsApp, nearly 40% of this age group regularly use it, and up to 65% of this age use various texting services.  The statistics are nearly identical in the United States. 

          It does not stop there.  In the UK, nearly 30% of 5-7-year-olds use TikTok, and over 20% are on Instagram.  While it is likely that these youngsters are watching age-appropriate content, it does not come without risks.  It is easy for unscrupulous adults to contact them or become victims of cyberbullying.  They are watching through apps on their phone. 

          The use of cell phones by children is an epidemic.  In many states, students must hand over their phones while in school and get them back at the end of the day.  One of the reasons for this policy is the frequency with which parents text their children during the school day, with 17% of teachers reporting that parents text their kids daily or several times per day, which interrupts lessons. 

          Digital Overload 

          What is the effect of giving kids a cell phone?  For starters, it negatively impacts their sleep.  Over 500 studies agreed that cell phone use is detrimental to sleep.  Time spent playing video games or scrolling on a smartphone in the evening can take away from sleeping.  Adult smartphone use is also associated with shorter sleep duration and reduced sleep efficiency. 

          It is not only the amount of time spent on a phone that impacts sleep but also the content of what is seen that can impact sleep quality. 

          A significant problem for kids is that their prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that regulates impulse control, emotions, and critical thinking, is not yet fully developed.  Phone access is a potential distraction and risks harm from online interactions as kids cannot effectively process and analyze what they are experiencing, especially if it is emotionally loaded.

           Through face-to-face interactions, young children learn to manage social interactions in the real world.  Relying on screens to accomplish this compromises the development of these skills.  Research shows that making appropriate eye contact, a hallmark of healthy social skills, is negatively impacted by phone use. 

          Other impacts of prolonged cell phone usage include compromised attention span, making it harder for kids to focus on academics.  Additionally, spending prolonged time on social media invites kids to compare themselves to perceived ideals, which, for many girls, leads to body image issues.  Furthermore, phone use is sedentary, impacting health and physical development.

           Sadly, these findings are not just limited. to kids.  Ninety-one percent of adults ages 18 -74 who were part of a study that required them to block the internet from their phone for two weeks felt happier at the end of the study.  Indeed, many of the same problematic consequences found in children are also present in adults who use their cell phones excessively.

         When the adults in the study were asked how they spent their time not on the phone, they reported having more time for socializing with friends, exercising, and spending time in nature.  These activities have documented benefits for emotional well-being.

 Setting Digital Boundaries 

The children who spend hours on their phones grow into teenagers and adults who struggle with the same problem.  Parents must implement restrictions on phone use when their child gets a phone.  Not only will this free up a child to do other activities, but it is less likely that they will carry over this potentially addictive behavior into later years. 

Here are some practical guidelines for managing cell phone use parents can use for their children:

 ·        No phones are allowed before age two, and preschoolers have limited supervised use.  There must be a gradual introduction for school-age children with clear boundaries for use.

·        Set screen-free zones.  Designate bedrooms, dining areas, and outdoor play spaces as phone-free areas.

·        Set specific time windows for device use, such as having 30-60 minutes of phone time after homework.

·        Phones must be charged overnight in a common area, not a bedroom.  Kids who have their phones in their rooms overnight get less sleep.

·        Have your child not look at their phone for at least one hour before bedtime to help them fall asleep more efficiently.

·        Use parental controls on the phone to ensure your child will only see age-appropriate content.

·        Work with your child to devise engaging nondigital activities such as sports, arts, reading, and outdoor play.

·        When you give your child a phone, draw up a contract emphasizing that having a phone is a privilege, not a right, and since you pay for it, the phone is your property.  You can check your child’s or teen’s history and limit the phone’s use.

 For adults, the following strategies will help curb your phone time;

 ·        Schedule specific phone-free periods during the day.

·        Disable nonessential notifications to reduce interruptions.

·        Stop phone use one to two hours before bedtime to help ensure a more pleasant sleep experience.

·        Do not wake up and start checking your phone immediately.  Engage in a morning ritual first to get used to delaying the gratification of using a phone.

·        Consider a day or weekend period to be completely offline.

·        Establish phone etiquette with friends and family for quality time.

·        Switch your screen to black and white to reduce the visual appeal of apps designed to capture attention.

·        Do not use your phone as an alarm.  Use a traditional alarm clock to avoid starting and ending your day with your phone.  When I suggested this to a 15-year-old with a powerful phone addiction, they got indignant, claiming that “no teenager uses an alarm clock.”

·        Consider dedicated e-readers or music players to unbundle phone functions.

·        No phone use while watching TV or using a computer to prevent attention splitting.

·        Try scheduling specific periods to check messages and social media rather than responding in real time.

·        Consider deleting all nonessential apps for thirty days, and then carefully evaluate which genuinely adds value before reinstalling them.

 Don’t Get Hung Up 

          The earlier we start managing our relationship with cell phones, the better off we will be in the short and long term.  Cell phones have transformed from tools into constant companions in our hyperconnected world, blurring the boundaries between convenience and dependency. 

          The evidence is loud and clear.  Excessive screen time is reshaping our cognitive patterns, fracturing our attention, disrupting our sleep, and eroding the depth of our human connections.  These risks are amplified for children as they develop cognitively, emotionally, and physically. 

          Cell phones are not going anywhere, nor should they if we can create thoughtful boundaries that allow technology to serve our well-being rather than diminish it.  We can transform our relationship with these devices by implementing practical limits.

           The power to shape this relationship rests not in the technology itself but in our deliberate choices about how it fits into our lives and the examples we set for the next generation.  We must be aware that the glowing screen connecting us to the world often disconnects us from what matters most. 

“Back then, getting your own phone was a rite of passage.  It meant independence, a direct connection to the world.  Today, phones are more powerful, but they also control us in ways we never imagined.”

Steve Wozniak (Co-founder of Apple) on early phone culture