Surviving (and Thriving) During Holiday Stress: Tips For A Calmer Season

Ready or not, here they come in rapid succession.  Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, and New Year’s Eve.  In fact, the first three holidays after Thanksgiving fall within a day of each other!  While this is a time of celebration for many, it is a period of stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed.  Why is that?

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year May Not Always Feel Like It

Many factors may contribute to the holidays being a time of stress and challenge for many.  These may include:

·        Family Issues. Family reunions can be exciting or rekindle or remind us of old conflicts.  Parents may yearn for a closer relationship with their children, while offspring carry memories of past conflicts into adulthood.  The idea of interacting with difficult people can induce anxiety.  This may lead to families avoiding each other or very reluctantly visiting. 

·        Dealing With Feelings Of Loss.  The holidays may intensify feelings of grief over family members and friends we were close to who are no longer with us.  

·        Financial Pressures.  Parents and other family members already managing tight budgets may have to deal with gift-giving expenses, travel costs, and having to play to host others.  These and other holiday expenses can add great financial stress to situations that are difficult to manage. 

·        Increased Demands On Our Time.  Shopping, cooking, decorating, and attending events can require us to invest much time and energy.  Balancing these with demands such as work, ongoing family obligations, and trying to carve out some personal time can lead to feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.  

·        Seasonal Affective Disorder.  For those living in areas with shorter daylight, the lack of sunlight can lead to feelings of depression.  This can make managing stress and keeping up with the season’s demands even harder. 

·        Unrealistic Expectations.  Expecting the holidays to be a magical time may not be realistic, setting up feelings of disappointment.  Perhaps if you have wonderful holiday memories from childhood, it can create pressure to live up to the impossible. 

·        Social Pressures & Loneliness.  Being single or away from your family can lead to feeling isolated.  In addition, viewing other’s seemingly perfect holiday celebrations on social media can exacerbate depression and loneliness.  Some may have to work over the holidays, creating an additional source of unhappiness.

Any of these factors can create threats to our psychological well-being.  Plys the idea that we are all supposed to be happy over the holidays and get into the “holiday spirit” can lead to further pressure to ‘snap out of it’ and conform to what is expected of us.

Finding Peace In The Season: Practical Steps for Holiday Well-Being

Despite the challenges cited, the end-of-year holidays do not have to be a time of perpetual unhappiness.  There are strategies we can use to help make this time easier to manage and perhaps experience enjoyment.  Even small shifts in our feelings can dramatically impact our emotional well-being.

Here are some helpful ideas you could consider to help make the holiday season easier.

·        Set Realistic Expectations

It may sound paradoxical, but accept that the holidays will not be perfect, and disappointments or stress will occur.  This will help prepare us for any challenges that may occur.  Try to let go of unattainable standards.  While this may not change a situation, it does not mean we will feel miserable.  Instead, it may soften our response to difficult situations.

          Acknowledge that things do not always go as planned.  Preparing mentally for minor disruptions, like unexpected guests or last-minute cancellations, can help prevent disappointments and keep stress levels low.

*    Practice Mindful Gift-Giving

Suggest alternatives to traditional gift-giving, like making homemade gifts, donating to a charity in someone’s name, or organizing a Secret Santa exchange to minimize shopping pressure.  A significant source of holiday anxiety is the feeling that we must get the perfect gift for someone.  This can make gift-giving a highly stressful experience when it does not have to be.

·        Create a Budget (and Stick to It)

Financial stress is a common holiday trigger.  Take a realistic look at your financial situation and plan your holiday spending to prevent overspending.  Some may put away a small amount of money each week during the year to ease the financial pressures during the holiday season.

·        Prioritize Self-Care

During such a busy season, self-care can often get overlooked.  Making time for self-care rituals such as morning meditation, daily walks, journaling, or simply taking a few moments each day for quiet reflection is important.  This can also include maintaining regular sleep schedules, continuing your exercise routines, and, if necessary, modifying your alcohol intake.

·         Embrace the Power of ‘No’

Avoid overcommitting.  It is OK to decline invitations or requests that feel too hard to commit to.  Prioritize your time to do things you find enjoyable and meaningful.

·        Focus on Gratitude and Positive Moments

Focus on what you appreciate.  Engage in a daily or several times per week gratitude practice, such as journaling or sharing what you are grateful for with others.  Try to stretch your awareness by not focusing on the obvious things to appreciate but the smaller, more nuanced things that bring us joy or make our lives easier.

·         Incorporate Relaxation Techniques

Breathing exercises, quick yoga stretches, or even using calming apps for mindfulness can help reset and manage stress during busy moments.

·        Limit Screen Time

The holiday season can be full of social media comparisons.  As noted earlier, this can heighten depression.  Limit screen time and instead focus on real-life connections to prevent unnecessary stress or pressure.

·        Set Aside ‘Me Time’

Carve out personal time during the holiday rush.  Enjoying a favorite book, going for a walk, or indulging in a quiet cup of coffee, a little alone time can be refreshing.

·        Delegate Holiday Responsibilities

You do not have to do everything alone.  Invite family and friends in planning, cooking, or decorating to lessen the burden and make the holidays feel more collaborative.

·        Engage in a Holiday Hobby

Encourage in a holiday-specific activity you enjoy, like baking, crafting, or singing carols.  Engaging in a hobby can provide a creative outlet and a fun way to relieve stress.

·         Create a Simple ‘Holiday Survival Kit

A practical idea for a “holiday survival kit” could include herbal tea, a journal, essential oils, and a favorite snack.  Having these small comforts on hand can help ease stressful moments.

·        Practice Minimalist Decorating

For some, decorating can be a significant stressor.  A minimalist approach to decorating involves using only items that spark joy or have special meaning to save time and reduce clutter.

·        Modify Traditions.

Examine the holiday traditions you engage in.  Can they be modified or even scaled back to reduce stress?  Consider creating new traditions to reflect changing life circumstances more accurately.  Perhaps you can consider blending old and new ideas.

·         Savor Positive Experiences

When feeling good, let the experience resonate in your body and mind for at least 15 – 30 seconds.  Do not dismiss it and move on.  Research confirms that when we hold onto our reactions to enjoyable experiences, our positive response to them will strengthen.  The longer we do this, the more neural connections will develop in our brain to strengthen the trace of that experience in our memory.

·         Be Generous

Engaging in altruistic acts activates the pleasure centers of the brain. When you feel the need to be generous to others, whether financially or by providing other types of support, go for it!  Notice how it feels to see others be joyful due to your actions.  Anytime you do something that enhances the well-being of others, let yourself feel the generosity of your act.

·         Have Fun

If you had fun as a child during the holidays, try to experience that again. If you have kids, tune into their delight and enthusiasm.  Feel free to sing, dance, and invite friends for a game night.  We all must experience fun, especially during stressful times like the holidays.

·        Seek Out Help If Necessary

If, after considering these suggestions, you still feel overwhelmed, stressed, and unhappy, it may be time to consider seeking out a mental health professional to develop more effective coping strategies.

A Final Word

          While the holiday season can be a time of joy, it also gives rise to various stressors. While the path through this season is not always straight or easy, there are ways to make it more manageable.  While society may have a single story of holiday joy, we all have our own stories with different chapters containing a variety of feelings, each of which is valid.

“Peace isn’t having the perfect holiday, but accepting the holiday we have.”

Nelson Mandela, South African anti-apartheid activist and President of South Africa